The Rambles of Neil Monnery

Another pointless voice in the vast ocean that is the interweb

Mrs Bourne and her guide to good manners…

without comments

So I suspect you have all seen this. A stepmother has jumped in and decided to call out the future wife of her stepson for her manners. This e-mail has gone viral so you have seen it in other places. For me what gets my goat about this is mainly the fact a stepmother has got involved at all. It has nothing to do with her but she feels like sticking her beak in anyways.

Some of these points might be more valid than most but honestly things like not writing a hand written note to say thank you for staying. What kind of world do you think we live in Mrs Bourne?

I would also strongly contend that it is the height of bad manners to e-mail a girl that you hardly knew to tell them all about just how awful they were. The fact that a) it wasn’t hand written obviously shows a lack of class and b) just doing it in the first place shows that you are a numpty of the first degree.

But without further ado…here is the e-mail Mrs Bounce sent in full to the woman that is going to be marrying her stepson…

It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.

Please, for your own good, for Freddie’s sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else. You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

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Written by neilmonnery

June 30th, 2011 at 10:52 am

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