The Rambles of Neil Monnery

Another pointless voice in the vast ocean that is the interweb

Are flowers on a first date appropriate?

with 4 comments

Well folks. I am straying back into dating blogging but before anyone gets any ideas – I don’t have any first dates lined up or on the horizon so just chill. This is more of a blog inspired actually whilst surfing the interweb and I saw the question, ‘What happened to the gesture of flowers on a date?’ and it actually got me thinking. So I thought I’d do some interweb surfing on this topic and the general consensus was pretty split. Some think it is a sweet move that shows that someone cares and some think it is creepy. Some think a single red rose is the way to go but others say that is too full on. Oh this dating lark is hard but anyway I thought I’d blog my thoughts on the subject.

I have never turned up at a date with a flower or flowers. In all honesty the thought had never even crossed my mind. Not even for a fleeting second. My thought is that would be a bit too creepy and full on for a first date but opinions seem divided. Something that I have slowly got my head around is the hardest part of the whole dating process is actually getting the date so if you ask a lady out and they agree to go on a date then that is actually the biggest hump overcome. Should you get over this hump then it all comes down to the date itself but there is at least some intrigue from the other person to give you some of their time.

At this point I think it is probably fair to say that internet dating and dating someone you’ve previously met are two different things. I would attest that to some degree there is a larger comfort level having a date with someone you’ve already met – no matter how briefly – than there is having a date with someone you’ve not actually met yet from the interweb. When meeting someone for the first time there are slightly more moving parts than having a date with someone you’ve actually physically seen. As we all know you can meet people from the interweb who don’t look like you believed and people that meet you might think you look decidedly worse in real life than via a photograph.

So with that in mind I’d say that flowers – or a single flower – and not a red rose – might actually be a rather sweet gesture at a first date if you have already met said date. If it is someone you’re having a date with from online then it is slightly more problematic. Rightly or wrongly we are all tuned into people on the interweb could turn out to be a right weirdo. Look I’m on the interweb right now and I’m a weirdo, whilst I’d say a harmless one others may disagree.

So a flower on a first date from online is to me a more dangerous first move as it puts a lot of pressure out there. You don’t know whether you’ll even get on (I know its the same when you have a first date from another source but there is less chance you’ll just not get on at all) and therefore the first thing on a first meeting being giving someone a flower is both sweet but also can be misconstrued as a bit creepy.

Now of course this is a Point of View from a guy with probably less than ten, no wait I’m not that pathetic, we’ll say less than 15 first dates under his belt. So my views my not exactly be right on the money and they may be influenced heavily by the years of low self-esteem that still scar me to this day but it is an honest opinion. Thoughtful gestures are certainly never a bad thing. Certainly if the lady has mentioned something in passing that you have remembered and showed that you listen but a flower might not be the way forward. Originality is key and remember every women is different.

So to round this off my advice as a single gentleman who can see middle age on the horizon is flowers are ok but you have to be careful. If you’ve met the person before then I’d say that a single flower is a sweet first sign and shows thought. If there is one thing I know about women (and lets be honest here – I only know a few things) but one thing I do know is women like thoughtful men and thoughtful gestures.

Look you might not get a second date but a thoughtful gesture will at least make the woman think something good about you in the future when they say things like ‘I had that date with (name) we didn’t hit it off but he was sweet and brought me a lilac, he’ll be a nice catch for someone’ or whatever. Same goes for online dating but I’d always recommend doing something more original. However all in all showing sweetness coupled with some thought is rarely a bad thing.

Happy first dating boys n girls 🙂

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Written by neilmonnery

May 29th, 2013 at 4:52 pm

Posted in Dating

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4 Responses to 'Are flowers on a first date appropriate?'

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  1. I think if it’s an internet meeting first date – then no, not appropriate. Your first real “date” after the meeting? Then it’s definitely appropriate.

    If it’s someone you know, and you’ve decided to make a go of it – it’s kosher as well.

    Meg J

    29 May 13 at 5:31 pm

  2. On an off-chance that your date might actually be allergic to the flower of your choice, I’d say leave it until you learn more about her. Now, chocolates……you can never go wrong with chocolates *

    * unless she’s diabetic:)

    Magda

    29 May 13 at 5:45 pm

  3. Thank you Meg and Magda. Your views were aired on radio this evening. I agree on the internet dating part. I just don’t think that would be a good thing. As for chocolate – what if they are on a diet? :p

    neilmonnery

    29 May 13 at 9:57 pm

  4. Surely if she has an online presence, she will specify the sort of shite she is interested in? Be it a particular kind of flowers, chocolate, what have you. Show that you (a) are interested in giving her what she wants (b) care enough to read her profile and that.

    I am pleased to say that I got my own end away by this means. Whereas I probably wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t bothered to find out what she was into because interest (or lack thereof) is often reciprocated.

    asquith

    30 May 13 at 5:54 pm

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