The Rambles of Neil Monnery

Another pointless voice in the vast ocean that is the interweb

Are my Care Bears hurting my potential love life?

without comments

(That is arguably, well not arguably as a matter of fact, this is clearly my favourite headline that I have ever written).

So anyway a bit of background on why I own all the ten original care bears. You see I have had Tenderheart since I was knee high to a grasshopper (I actually had a large Bedtime Care Bear too but he has got lost somewhere along the way) but Tenderheart bear (not the full 13″ version, but the half size one) has been with me for a long, long time. He became my unofficial mascot. First things first he does not and has not slept in my bed ever as far as I’m aware but has lived on my headboard, on my desk, on my wardrobe, on a shelf over my bed, he’s lived around me. He came to university with me and has moved with me everywhere I’ve gone.

Now it probably isn’t unfair to say that he is more than a stupid soft toy to me, he has legitimate sentimental value. In fact I can’t think of anything else I own that has as much sentimental value to me. I know to many people this shows a lack of masculinity but if a burglar came into my property then I would prefer him or her to steal my iPad than I would my Tenderheart bear. True story.

I have for a long time said that I would give my Tenderheart bear to my first true love. Now of course whether a woman these days would appreciate the sentiment behind doing that is very much up for debate. However as we all can clearly see, I’m 31 and I still own it. That either means I’ve yet to be in love or it means that I’ve changed my mind and can’t bare to part with my bear. The answer is maybe both but as I have never been in love, I have yet to face that internal dilemma. I can tell you the reader this for nowt, if I ever gave him away to someone that it would certainly be a sign I was well and truly in love. He’s going nowhere without me being head over heels.

A few years back I did a quiz on the radio show I used to be part of. The quiz was name the ten original care bears. Sadly I looked at several blank faces and it made me sad. One of the studio had nightmares about the care bears. The next day I went on eBay to see if I could source all the ten originals (the half size ones like my Tenderheart bear) and it turned out that I could – and rather cheaply. So I bought them all and they now all live together on my headboard watching over my world and enjoying life, well apart from Grumpy bear but that is to be expected.

Why am I writing about this today? Well I have a couple of tales to tell from the recent past.

About what, a month or so ago now, someone sent me a message on OkCupid. I’m not going to tell you the full story but the short version is many messages were exchanged but then suddenly she deleted her profile. A couple of days later she Googled me and found this very blog and my e-mail address and sent me an e-mail saying she still wanted to speak to me, a couple of e-mails exchanged and silence again but we had added each other to Facebook. We didn’t really speak much but her last message to me was, ‘So what’s with the Care Bears?‘ and I told her the story that I am telling you (although a very abbreviated version) and her response wasn’t to just ignore it, or to unfriend me but to block me on Facebook. All class. She becomes the third person ever to block me on there as far as I’m aware.

Now it would possibly to harsh to say she is a Care Bearist, who decided that she couldn’t stand to know anyone who owned Care Bears and there was probably another reason for doing it (I’d hypothesise that she obviously now has no interest in knowing me, either because she’s found out more about me or what is more likely is she’s found another guy and therefore I’m not wanted nor needed in her life anymore) I have seen that a lot with regards to online dating, once a person decides that you aren’t a potential love interest then they have no desire to know you anymore. I find this sad, I have made actual friends via this route even if there wasn’t anything more but I suppose some people look at it differently.

So whilst I don’t think the Care Bear issue was the defining matter here, it was the last communication I had before I was summarily dismissed from her life.

Going back a few weeks and this topic came up in the studio of my last radio show. The women in the studio all said they would look at a guy who owned Care Bears in a non-favourable light. They would find it strange and unmanly. Once I told them the back story, they thawed somewhat and certainly thought it was sweet how Tenderheart and I had lived together and that I had earmarked him as a gift to my first love but the instinct was very negative.

As far as I can recall only two women have ever seen the full gang together and both were unnerved to some degree. One was rather weirded out and the other just rolled with it. Apparently both didn’t like the fact that they thought the Care Bears were watching them. I was told a while back on Facebook when this discussion came up that if I ever wanted to get a girlfriend then I’d have to give up the Care Bears as no woman would ever consider a relationship with a guy who owned any. You don’t need to know me well to know my reaction to that. Hint: It wasn’t favourable.

Sometimes I do genuinely wonder just how much influence my furry friends have on how another person sees me. I don’t bang on about them. To ever even see them then you’ll have to be in my bedroom and lets be honest here, if you’ve got past my awkward personality, my less than stellar looks and my inept amount of experience with the opposite sex, then I wouldn’t think the Care Bears would be the straw that broke the camels back as it were regarding what a potential beau would think about me. Maybe that is naive and I should do everything I can to make myself less weird because I need all the help I can get but I’m also stubborn to some degree.

I don’t want to consign them to a life in my spare room or to the back of the wardrobe. They deserve a happy life too and living on my headboard is I like to think a good place for them to live. They are all together. They can see the TV. I’m around to keep them company a lot. Heck even reading this back I wouldn’t touch me with a barge pole either.

So to conclude, I certainly don’t think owning Care Bears helps my potential love life chances that is for sure. No woman is reading this and thinking, ‘oh my, that guy sounds really sweet and lovely, just what I’m looking for,’ instead they are either thinking that is matters not or, ‘what a fucking weirdo’ – there is no positivity, only potential negativity from this revelation.

However having said this, am I going to change my viewpoint towards my gang of furry pals? You the reader know me well enough to know that I will not be. If owning Care Bears is such an important issue then I’m probably not the right guy for them anyway. It probably does to some small degree hinder my chances but I have so many things against me anyway that this is a minor issue. The Care Bears are going to stay and if someone thinks that is such an important issue in how they perceive me then I frankly don’t give two hoots and wish them well.

I’ll end with this.

Care Bears & Neil

My furry pals and I…

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Written by neilmonnery

August 8th, 2014 at 11:36 am

Posted in Random Stuff

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