The Rambles of Neil Monnery

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Sun, Sea & Suspicious Parents. How would my parents have reacted on my lads holiday?

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Earlier this week I saw Sun, Sea & Suspicious Parents on BBC Three and thought about how my parents may have reacted if they were following me around on my lads holiday after my A-Levels in 2001. So I thought I’d have a look back in the form of a blog post.

We went to a place called Lloret De Mar (I have just spent around 15 minutes or so on Streetview looking up the place) for a week. There were six of us and it was our first lads holiday. I can say this about our lot – we weren’t the most laddish of lads so it was quite amusing looking back. Anyway we got there and into our hotel (which I think looking at Streetview was the Hotel Villa Garbi and that does ring a bell) and let me tell you this…is it shit. I mean really shit. I know it was only 2* but I didn’t expect it to be that bad. I can’t recall if it was our toilet that didn’t flush or whether it was one of the other guys rooms but that’s not a good situation.

It was 5ish in the morning when we arrived and I had a sleep. No air con or TVs in the rooms. The rooms basically were two beds and a bathroom. So bad but yes on day one we met our reps who told us what the plans were for the week. That night we were having an all you can drink bar crawl. Now considering I’m not a drinker this was probably going to be an interesting night. During the day I can’t recall what we did but we probably explored the local area.

So anyway pub crawl…it would be my best night of the holiday despite what happened. I was not drinking but crushing the soft drinks and was having a good time on the dance floor. Making friends with other holiday makers whilst most of my lot were just drinking and planned dancing later. Well three of the six of us were rather sloshed to put it mildly so we had to get them back to the hotel way earlier than we had planned. I think if my parents had been watching they would have been impressed that I was having a good time and we maturely got the three other lads back home. I want to point out that one of the three who threw up repeatedly threw up undigested frankfurters that flowed down the street in a frankfurter derby. Most disgusting but in retrospect it was amusing.

The next morning in the drunkards room an empty box of Corona was found. No-one to this day knows how it got there. Did one of them get up and go get more booze? No-one knows. We know one of them opened his door to a member of staff naked. Not sure what we did the next day. Oh wait it was a beach party. Three very hungover guys. Me hot and grumpy. Seriously me + heat is a bad combination. I was a grumpy git on that holiday because of a) the heat and the fact I came down with a pretty grot cold. In future if I ever go on holiday the hotel will have air-con and it won’t be stupid hot unless the sea is crystal clear (Barbados, Seychelles etc…). There were ‘games’ at this beach party. I would not partake. Really not my scene as it were…

Next day my cold really took hold. We went out to a Sports Bar just behind the hotel to watch the F1 qualifying and returned to the hotel. The other five went off on a day trip to ‘Tosser Del Mar’ and I chose to stay at the hotel to sleep. I didn’t feel very good you see. Well I lay down and then my mate I was sharing the room with came back and knocked to come in. I asked if he’d forgotten something. He said they had been gone all day. I’m guessing I needed to sleep. Think we went out to a nice waterfront bar that night and that was a nice quiet evening.

Sunday I think we went out to watch the F1 race in the bar and then went out to a cabaret. I was in a pretty bad way that night. My nose was essentially a snot factory. When we got back I went to bed and the other guys went out. I woke up the next morning alone. I wondered where my room mate was. He was sleeping on the floor of another of our rooms as he couldn’t wake up me to let him into the room. I was out for the count. I felt bad. I still do.

On Monday we went to Barcelona. We went to the Olympic Stadium and to the Camp Nou. That was a good day although I still felt like crap and it was stupid and hot. The Olympic Stadium was nice although in all honesty I can’t recall going there (although I know I did). I remember the Camp Nou and that was cool. I remember Barcelona itself and going into a Marks & Spencer on the hunt for food). Maybe it was Monday we went to that nice waterfront bar? Also I’m missing a trip to the beach which was basically building gravel and it stunk. That must’ve been on some day when we were out there.

Tuesday we had to check out by 10AM but our coach to the airport wasn’t until 11PM. So we took it in turns to stay at the hotel reception area looking after the bags. On the Tuesday three of us went to a Chinese for a proper meal and it was the best thing I ate all week. Seriously the food at the hotel was awful. I never made it down to breakfast once in the whole week. I chose sleep over food. I know most of the guys lived off of ‘Starburger’ in the week we were there. I honestly have no idea what I ate or if I ate or what. I don’t remember eating that much that is for sure.

Anyway back to the original point of the post. If my parents had been watching me during my holiday like they do on the programme I think they would have been slightly disappointed that I didn’t let myself go a bit more. I never had a ‘wild phase’ and I wonder if that has helped shape me for the worse. They wouldn’t have liked my grumpiness but my mum is just as bad as me in the heat so she would have understood (plus the whole nose being a snot machine thing – that sucked). So I think overall they wouldn’t have been surprised by my action. I didn’t go on holiday and go crazy. I went on holiday, got ill, got grumpy and didn’t get anywhere near any girls in that kinda way. It was just like the rest of my life really…

I didn’t shake off that cold for around two weeks after I came back either. That was a pretty interesting blog to write. That holiday was July 2001. That is a really long time ago. The next year there was another holiday and the guys seemed to get a much better hotel but I didn’t go on that one. I haven’t been overseas since. When will I venture outside of the UK next? I have a renewed and valid passport. Will 2013 be the year…?

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Written by neilmonnery

January 27th, 2013 at 7:36 am

Posted in Random Stuff

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