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Day: October 7, 2011

David Davis MP exclaims that ‘God must be a Conservative’

No I’m not making it up. David Davis said at a fringe during Conservative Party Conference this week that ‘God must be a Conservative’ due to the fact the Party is doing ‘ridiculously well considering the circumstances’ better than both David Cameron and George Osborne had expected for this stage in the electoral cycle. He told this during an Ipsos-Mori ‘Beyond The Bubble’ event on Tuesday evening.

Now first of all I think it is fair that the existence of God has yet to be proven. In fact the proof is shall we say rather minimal and I’m being kind. Yes there is faith and many people have some of that knocking about. However to contend that he exists as a matter of fact to me seems abhorrent but that’s just me. That might be too strong a word but I think for now I’ll stick with it.

The second part though is even worse. Like God in his infinite wisdom and power actually gives a damn about the polls in the UK in 2011. What kind of moron would firstly even think it and secondly then process those thoughts into words and speak them out loud? It would have to be someone whose moronity levels are sky-high and someone who is in fact a moron. Well let’s look at David Davis history shall we?

He wants to bring back the death penalty and he also doesn’t believe in climate change. Not looking good for him as he tries to defend himself from my moron accusations He is a fan of civil liberties which helps his cause but you know climate change is going on. Whether it is man-made or just part of The Sun’s natural cycle is up for debate but climate change exists and that is pretty much accepted.

On bringing back the death penalty he said in 2003, ‘This should apply in cases involving multiple murders where there is clear evidence and no doubt’ – well if there is any real doubt then shouldn’t a jury not convict? Have we not seen cases overturned following changes in DNA evidence gathering where upon someone has been convicted and later found not guilty? You can never be sure unless the evidence is just so compelling – i.e. there’s a video of the murder going on and the person confessed. Beyond that there will always be some doubt.

So David Davis thinks that ‘God must be a Conservative’. Neil Monnery thinks that David Davis’ view of God and the way he interacts with humans should he exist is about as whack of an idea since Nadine Dorries said she was a conduit for God. If God is involved with how people think about the government of our piddly little country then he’s probably involved in every decision every single one of us makes n life and if that was the case then we are mere puppets not in control of our lives and I personally do not believe that is the case and if it was then how depressing would that be?

I’ll stick to my hypothesis outlined above in my conclusion. David Davis MP is either a) a moron or b) acting moronically or c) a mixture of a & b.

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