So there I was last night laying in bed having flicked over to American Dad and a question struck me, ‘who is more attractive, Marge Simpson, Francine from Family Guy or Louis from Family Guy?’ A lay there for just a moment and decided that I would investigate and blog about my findings. Who says The Rambles of Neil Monnery isn’t the go to site for the important issues…?
We’ll start with Marge Simpson:
So Marge Simpson. She has been around on our television screens for nearly as long as I’ve been alive. It’s close but I just have the edge. Married to Homer I have at times struggled to see what he sees in her (and more importantly why she wears her hair up all the time).
Marge has a good figure but has a whiny tone in her voice. She nags a lot and very rarely changes her appearance. It is a major fault with the whole Simpsons clan – they really need to get some new clothes. Marge is her teenage years was clearly hot but her face has become more protracted and harsh as the years have gone on and her decision on the hair still beggers belief.
In short Marge just isn’t doing it for me. She’s rather vanilla from what we know and that hair…I know I’ve spoken about it in three paragraphs on the spin but really? Pros are clearly she wanted to be a journalist and that is a great ambition to have. She’s not stupid and was clearly a gifted student. So there are some brains there but I think Homer drags her down and doesn’t allow her to flower. If she wasn’t with Homer then she might be a very different person but she is and the Marge I see isn’t one for me…
Let’s move on to Lois Griffin:
Lois Griffin married out of a very rich family. In a way she has similar tones as Marge in that she is clearly smarter than being married to Peter makes her out to be. She’s ginger which is rarely a bad thing although the hair style doesn’t really do it for me. Reading this back as I go along it makes me out like I have a thing for hair. Well hair is an important feature I think but anyway…
Nice figure and not too tall. She was a naughty side but also has to treat Peter like a big kid sometimes and that is off-putting. She laughs at the problems of others and really doesn’t treat her daughter Meg with as much dignity as she deserves. Constantly gossips and bad mouths people behind their backs really doesn’t tick any boxes for me but she is kinky which does bring her back a bit but overall I’m not a Lois guy either.
This leaves us with Francine Smith from American Dad:
So Francine. Yes Francine. I think American Dad is vastly underrated and might just be the best of these three animated shows and Francine is a big part of that. She’s blonde which isn’t my usual type but she wears her hair well. Her biggest downside is clearly she is the dumbest of the three mentioned in this blog post. She really isn’t the brightest and her daughter Hayley is rather bright and feels challenged by the fact her mum isn’t fully on the ball.
However whilst saying she’s not the smartest she certainly has street smarts and knows about the real world. She treats all her family with respect (unlike Lois) and is clearly a very good soul and a good person.
So overall for me it’s either the smart but downtrodden Marge, the rich, pretty but slightly mean Lois or the loveable but not Einstein like Francine.
When push comes to shove it would be Francine for me. Her good heart shines through compared to Lois and I just don’t fancy Marge…
There we go. The important issues on a Monday morning sorted. Now my plumber should be here in an hour or so. Will my boiler once and for all have it’s leak stopped? I can’t wait to find out…
All screenshots obviously copyright FOX.
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You mention Hayley. If you watch the show, she’s clearly NOT as bright as she thinks she is, like any feminist who ISN’T a lesbian, she’s a hypocrite when it comes to women’s roles and sex. She’s attracted to strong, domineering men, and when it comes to sex, she’s as sexual as her…well….slutty mother (who is more like everywoman than the hypocrite PC ranters would have us believe) and she’s always taking a traditional submissive role IN sex (with Avery Bullock, or Stan’s CIA double Bill, for example)
1. Lois Griffin 98%
2. Francine Smith 90%
3. Marge Simpson 80%
The old-fashioned femininity of these women is the over-riding reason why cartoon women are more attractive than REAL women who have LOST their femininity due to the ridiculous influence of corrupt self-se3rving lesbians and even queers and submissive men !