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Day: September 17, 2010

Just like they say – it is a small world

So a bit of background. Late last year/early this year I was on a rather famous dating website. I’m not any more due to the fact that it became clear that I don’t exactly have pulling power through photos or my words so it was rather pointless. However I did speak to a few people on there and even had a date with one (who cancelled a proposed second date because she had and I quote ‘washing up to do’ – yeah exactly).

Anyway one of them I still speak to on occasion but we never met due to the fact that I don’t want kids and that for her is of utmost importance. I know she only lives a mile or so up the road but still our paths have never crossed. So we get to last night and I’m sitting on the railway platform listening to my iPod and I glance up and look over to the other platform. I instantly knew it was her. I didn’t do anything incase it wasn’t (and my train was coming in).

When I got home I left a message on her Facebook wall asking if she was on said railway platform at said time and she said she was. So there we go – small world. I’m trying to think if I’ve ever just randomly bumped into someone I know from the interwebs but not met before and I don’t think I have. It happened at uni before actually when I was playing 5-a-side v a team and I recognised their goalkeeper from a website we both used. That however was seven odd years ago.

My other experiences of said dating website were not terrific. One person when I told them I was a Virgin said I should come round and she would and I quote ‘sort me out’ – yeah not exactly my cuppa tea there. One seemed to really like me until she added me to Facebook and saw other pictures of me – and then she never spoke to me again and deleted me off Facebook quick sharpish. Another said that she was always too busy at work to meet anyone (so why is she on a dating website?) and lastly I was going to meet someone, she cancelled that morning and then didn’t speak to me again (coincidentally her Facebook pic changed from just her to her and a guy a few days later).

So yeah – my experience with the big famous dating website was shall we say poor and singledom seems even more probably for the short and medium term futures at the moment. The whole hermit and working from home thing really doesn’t bring one into contact with many members of the opposite sex. Doesn’t bring me into contact with many people in fact but heck such is life.

No-one who knows me should be buying any hats anytime soon!

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The World of the Lady

The world of the lady. As anyone who actually knows me and not just reads my Twitter et al, they’ll know I’ve been single for a long long time. In fact I have had one date in the past four years and there was no second date because she was – and I quote – ‘too busy as she had washing up to do’ – gotta like that excuse – it is so bad it is funny. Anywho…

Whilst I swim in the waters of general loneliness there are other people I know with very interesting love lives. One of those is a friend who prefers to remain nameless but he had what I call a very normal experience recently. There was the girl who he had been talking to on the Interwebs via a love finding site – think it was eHarmony but it may have been another. Anyway they had a series of dates and were texting constantly. This to me is a good sign. Both wanted to meet up more n more and life was good.

Then he made his move and was rebuffed quite spectacularly so I’m informed and since she hasn’t contacted him. So how can two people go from seeing each other three or four times a week, getting generally closer n closer and more flirtatious and more flirtatious and then suddenly bam, it all ending. My hypothesis is that she met someone else and suddenly decided that was that but there must be more to it than that. I have been in similar situation in the albeit distant past where you are very close to someone and they find another and quite simply you do not exist to them anymore.

So I want to know why this happens. Do women think that they can’t have single male friends when they start a new relationship? Do women think that by having single male friends (or in some cases people they were getting closer to) it’ll destabilise a potential relationship? Are all resources needed to make sure that new relationship works at all costs? I at times do not understand. As a single guy I’d prefer to keep my friends should I ever get into a relationship, whether they be single females or not or would this not be allowed? I find it all very confusing.

There is someone in my past who basically had the straight choice between me and two other guys who were after ger affections. Once she had chosen one of the other guys I was pretty much deemed completely surplus to requirements and she just didn’t speak to me again pretty much. For me that is harsh but heck I’ve seen it more than once both on a personal level and amongst friends and colleagues.

So women – are you allowed to have single male friends when forming a new relationship or is that just wrong?

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. Please leave any comments or contact me directly via the E-Mail Me link on the Right Hand Nav. You can stay in touch with the blog following me on Twitter or by liking the blog on Facebook. Please share this content via the Social Media links below if you think anyone else would enjoy reading.